christian life – KNWBOOKS

March 29, 2023March 29, 2023

I Worked At a Drive-Through

Wendy’s: fast food, dine-in, drive-through. Unlike “my” Pizza Hut, it has a very diverse menu with all kinds of drinks and sides. There are breakfast and lunch times, where different things are served, and the type of food, along with the drive-through aspect makes it a completely different beast to handle. The flow is very different compared to Pizza Hut. Scheduling is different, there’s a lot more prep and restocking, and the way shifts are organized took me a while to understand.

I got a job at Wendy’s. Being my second job, I didn’t know quite what to expect. Fast food, right? Cooking, customer service, and prep. Couldn’t be much different than Pizza Hut…right? (Cue me walking into an entirely different situation unaware of what I was about to face.)

Leaving Pizza Hut…Sort Of

But wait. Let’s back up. I have a job at Pizza Hut, right? Things were going well. I’d been working full-time hours there, so why—and how—was I getting a job at Wendy’s?

Like I mentioned in the last work blog post, the tip system at Pizza Hut changed. Where I’d been earning a fairly stable amount of tips per hour before, I was now getting almost nothing. Without the tips, my wage was lower than other jobs in the area. $11 an hour isn’t the most comfortable amount of money to live on, and as I intend to be able to live independently within a year, minimum wage isn’t something I want to spend all my hours working for when every other option pays better. In addition, I wasn’t seeing Pizza Hut as a possible career option. Things just weren’t heading that way. Instability abounded, management didn’t communicate, and it wasn’t something I wanted to get into over my head.

Two months passed, Pizza Hut was feeling like my home. People were beginning to look up to me. I was even put in charge of training people. However, negatives were beginning to outweigh the positives. Everything seemed to be headed in a downward direction, and payment wasn’t enough to keep me there. Thus, I decided it was time to move on.

I changed my availability. Wendy’s was early mornings; I could still work nights at Pizza Hut. Yes, I could’ve completely left. However, I decided to keep Pizza Hut as a part-time job, because one, I wasn’t sure how I felt about Wendy’s, and two, I still enjoyed working night rushes—especially with certain coworkers. Pizza Hut was my first ever job. Even though I knew I’d have to leave at some point, I wanted to hold off saying goodbye for as long as possible.

Enter 60-hour work weeks. 😁It was exhausting. It was stressful. It’s not something I ever want to do again—unless I really love my job—but we’ll get into that later.

How I Got Wendy's

I actually applied for Wendy’s a couple of weeks before deciding to move on from Pizza Hut. There had been a few instances where I’d considered leaving Pizza Hut. Things had been progressively getting worse. Management changed—and not particularly for the best—and the turnover was terrible. My hours got cut “to train the new people.” Things were done in the most inefficient and ineffective ways. Favoritism and partialism trumped justice and gave way to corruption. I’d been getting tired of putting up with it all, so the tip system change was just the last straw. That’s when I finally decided to make the move.

I’d considered leaving multiple times before I actually did. At one point, I applied to several places in my area, just to see what my options were. Among my applications was Wendy’s. I waited a couple of weeks. None of them responded. I kept working at Pizza Hut. My applications faded to the back of my memory, and eventually, I assumed none of the places I’d applied for were interested in me. Thus, you can imagine how surprised I was to get a call from Wendy’s the day after deciding to leave Pizza Hut. The timing was perfect. The job sounded promising. It was a perfect coincidence. Everything lined up perfectly, so I decided to go ahead with the interview—which led to me taking the job.

First Impression

The first thing I noticed upon starting the job was how professional Wendy’s seemed. There was mutual respect, a clear hierarchy, and good communication both within management and between coworkers. Things like tardiness and laziness weren’t tolerated. It was a refreshing change, and I was relieved to find that all places aren’t as corrupted as Pizza Hut. (Because being my first job, I didn’t know what to expect from any other place. I’d only been working for three months; my experience and knowledge were severely limited.)

Training

I was put on shoulder-to-shoulder work my first day. I pretty much just followed people around, watched what they did, and cleaned in my spare time. That was day one. For day two, I was put on training videos. I watched hours and hours of videos that taught me about the background of Wendy’s and how to be a clean, nice human. Day three is when I was given actual work.

Drive-Through

I immediately realized how bad I am at multi-tasking. As soon as I was put on drive-through/”speaker,” things went downhill. I got overwhelmed and panicked. I tried a few times, but no matter how much I attempted to remain calm and collected, things went awry. I messed up orders. I made the wrong drinks. I forgot to give customers their receipts. In all fairness, I knew I wasn’t the best at muti-tasking, but I’d assumed things would just come together somehow. (No, they didn’t. Things went wrong, and my newly-found optimism quickly changed to full-fledged pessimism.)

Customers

After that one morning on speaker, I was put on other stations. The first was front counter. I was in charge of coordinating (putting orders together) and taking orders or cashing people out. One of the managers helped me the entire time, so it wasn’t too bad. Over time, I know I would’ve gotten good/quick at it.

The second station I was put on (another day) was back cash. It’s the first window, and all I had to do was pull up orders, take payments, and hand people their receipts. It’s actually the easiest job in the entire store. Most people want it, but the station is only opened up when there are enough people working. Anyway, I really enjoyed that station. Customers commented to my manager on how I “took care of them.” I liked the interaction and simplicity of the job. (Give me one thing to do, and I’ll work hard and do well. Give me two or more, and I’ll get nothing done.😅)

So, customers loved me, and I loved them.

Coworkers and Managers

Coworkers—we got along. Everyone there is pretty friendly. People invited me in, tried to make me feel included, and taught me where everything was and how to do stuff. Unlike Pizza Hut, I feel like I got a warm and informational welcome. From the beginning, I was set up for success by both my managers and coworkers. People took active steps to ensure I felt included, and I really appreciated the change.

Leaving Wendy's

Yes.

I know.

I know I just talked about how wonderful everyone and everything at Wendy’s was, but yes, I did end up quitting. Drive-through is what really got to me. Being a morning shift person, it’s not something I can just avoid. It’s a necessary evil of the job. In the morning, you’re in charge of prep, speaker, and food production. Even if you’re not assigned speaker, you’re going to have to do at least 30 minutes of it while someone takes their mandatory break. People liked me, and I liked them, but speaker just didn’t get along with me. It pretty much broke the deal for me.

But…that’s not the whole of it. Embarrassingly enough, I actually left in order to go to Walmart (highest competitor in my area). I’d applied around the time I decided to move on from Pizza Hut. However, because of how perfectly coincidental Wendy’s had been, plus the lack of response from Walmart, I jumped into Wendy’s right away.

I shouldn’t have. I should’ve waited for Walmart. It was my first preference. There were career opportunities and better pay there. Instead, I was hasty and gave into fear of missing out, taking the first thing that came to me.

So how I left Wendy’s? A few days into the job, as I was questioning whether it was the best fit for me, Walmart called, asking for an interview. I accepted the interview. I got all the information I could, and I told them about myself. Everything seemed to line up perfectly with what I was looking for in a job. I went back home and thought things out. A few days later when I got the formal job offer, I accepted it and put in my two weeks at Wendy’s. I then proceeded to work out those two weeks, along with Pizza Hut nights.

Juggling Two Jobs

60-hour weeks aren’t fun—that’s what I learned from having two jobs. There’s almost zero time for anything. Sleep, eat, work, eat, repeat. What little time you have extra is easily spent in keeping up with friends or family. Sometimes, there isn’t even time for that. Food? No time or energy to think about that. I was exhausted both physically and mentally.

Needless to say, when I finished my last day at Wendy’s, I was relieved. (I was working full-time hours there; part-time at Pizza Hut. Actually, if we’re being technical, I worked full-time at both for one of the weeks.) Without Wendy’s, I finally had enough time and energy to function properly.

Ending Wendy's

I left on a good note. For the short amount of time I’d been there, I met some really nice people, learned the basics of working at a fast food drive-through, and discovered some of my strengths and weaknesses job-wise. A lot of coworkers didn’t want to see me go. Some tried to convince me to stay as I worked my remaining days, and when I left, I was told that if Walmart didn’t work out, I was welcome back. I really appreciate those managers’ kindness. While the job wasn’t the best fit for me, they were patient with me, taught me everything I needed to know, and tried their best to accommodate my preferences. Why they asked me back, I don’t understand (besides the need for labor). However, I am thankful for it. I’m happy we were able to separate on good terms.

Conclusion

I learned a lot from Wendy’s. it was my first job where I feel liked I worked in a professional environment. I was able to learn about what it takes to make things run smoothly, as well as how to keep a positive, helpful atmosphere. It was a good comparison to Pizza Hut. Even though those two alone aren’t enough to tell me everything about different work environments, I feel like I know a lot more about myself and my work preferences. No, I don’t want to be in fast food for the rest of my life. I’m not sure what I want to spend my life doing, but I do know how I operate in different environments and under pressure.

I’m grateful for the experience. I’m grateful for my managers at Wendy’s. While I should have thought things out more thoroughly before taking the job, it’s not something I can say I regret. I learned a lot from it. Without this opportunity, I don’t think I’d be in the same place (job-wise) with the same conclusions as I am now.

February 8, 2023February 7, 2023

Turning 18

I’m excited to finally be 18!

It’s a big number for many people. Eighteen. The world likes to put a ton of significance on it for some reason, and when you reach the number, you’re suddenly handed multiple privileges you’ve never had before and expected to know how to function as an independent adult (even if you’ve never done taxes.)

So what am I excited about? Definitely not the taxes—that’s for sure. The government takes too much of my hard-earned money for it to be funny in the least bit. Expecting me to calculate it all for them on top of everything definitely doesn’t make me any happier. And with the ridiculous amount of money disappearing down the black hole of government expenses and debt, I’m surprised to see there’s leftover for things I don’t actually need…like Oreos and crackers 😜 However, despite the taxes, there are things that come with being 18 that make me excited. Some of these include:

Getting a Credit Card

I looked into several credit cards as soon as I turned 18. The main reason is that I want to start building credit. Having a good score allows you to get big things at a lower interest rate, and I’m pretty sure that the earlier you start building a clean track record, the better it is for your score.

The second reason I’m trying to get a credit card is because I want to be able to buy things easily. Although debit cards work just as well, credit cards are a lot safer, and I don’t have to worry about fraud as much. They also have some nice benefits attached (like cashback). I fully intend on paying my card off in a timely manner, and I’m not going to be spending money I don’t have. (The interest rates on these cards are crazy.) Thus, for me, a credit card is just a more secure debit card with extra benefits.

So…I’m looking into a secured card. I’d originally intended to apply for ones with cash back and no security deposit, but because I don’t have a credit history, unfortunately I’m automatically excluded from such things.

Freelancing

Freelancing is difficult no matter your age. It’s even more difficult when freelancing websites don’t allow minors, or (in best-case scenarios) won’t let you join unless under a parent’s name. And that does not work if you’re trying to build a brand for yourself. Now that I’m 18, I have free rein on most—if not all—freelancing websites, and I plan on using to my full advantage. I don’t have very high expectations for freelancing, but I’m hoping it will at least pay more than my job at Pizza Hut…or at least be a fraction of the stress when it comes to getting the hours I want.

Celebrating

So what did I do for my birthday? First off, I’ll just say I like to pretend my birthday doesn’t exist. I don’t like it when I’m made into some sort of big deal, I don’t appreciate gifts in the same way most people do, and I prefer not having to deal with the hassle of birthdays. (My close friends get birthday cards and/or gifts, though.) Oh, and I do not like big, planned out surprises.

So of course, my family knowing me so well…surprised me. Okay, I’m sort of kidding.

For clearer context, I celebrated on Sunday. That morning, I got a text from my Pizza Hut area manager asking me to come into the store to help out. I hadn’t been scheduled that day. However, it’s been extra busy recently, so I’m often asked to help out off-schedule. I went in before noon, did a bunch of R4C (ready for customer; basically stretching dough and pre-making items), and prepped some stuff for the night rush. By the time rush came around, it was chaos. I clocked out anyway though, because my parents had already planned to celebrate my birthday that night.

When I got home, the area around the dining table was decorated. There were presents and brownies (instead of cake) out on the table, and my dad made kimchi fried rice and eel for dinner. We did a birthday Zoom call with some relatives. While on the call, we ate, had dessert, and I opened presents. It was pretty fun, and I’m thankful for the thought everyone put into my birthday.

Birthday Gifts

(I’m mainly including this section for the family and friends out there who wanted to know. Feel free to skip.)

As mentioned earlier, I like to ignore my birthdays. I tell people I don’t want anything when they ask, and I let them know I don’t need a celebration. Still, that doesn’t stop them from getting me stuff.

My mom gave me a black faux fur blanket 😍 I love it. It’s so soft and warm, and I love the texture.

My coworker (and new friend) gave me some things for my birthday, including scrunchies, a drawing, a painting, and a cute little stuffed animal whose fur looks suspiciously identical to the faux fur blanket my mom bought me 😂

One of my managers from work brought party supplies (noisemakers, accessories, decorations) into the store for my birthday. I think it was really sweet of her. However, I didn’t like standing out from my coworkers. On the other hand, it was super busy that day at work, so it wasn’t like people had much time to notice me 🙂 Oh, and then because of how busy it was, she forgot about the cake she’d brought, and it stayed in the walk-in fridge until the next day, when we cut and ate it. Very sugary, but I liked it.

Some relatives sent things in the mail for my birthday. I got stationary stuff (cool scissors, mechanical pencils, etc.), hand sanitizer, cash, and a few other assorted items. And as mentioned before, I did a Zoom call with some of my relatives. That was very nice.

Age Is Just a Number

“So do you feel any older?”

I’ve been asked this question countless times in the past few days, and the answer is no, I don’t feel any older. Age is just a number. I don’t feel like an “adult” (whatever that’s supposed to mean). I feel the same as I did a few days ago, and the only reason I’m excited to be this new number is because of the privileges I gain. I don’t have to worry about legal stuff when it comes to work (except for taxes), and I’m considered a grown adult, which means I can do whatever I want based on my own judgement. The laws put in place to protect minors no longer apply to me. Thus, there’s no need to worry if I’m working “too much” or “past the legal time.” It’s all up to me now. (Of course, my parents’ opinions still play a big part in my decision-making, since I live in their house and use their vehicle to get around. That’s a whole different issue, though.)

Conclusion

I’m excited to finally be 18! Mostly, it just feels like a huge burden has been lifted off of my shoulders. Legally, I’m allowed to do pretty much anything, and I don’t have to worry anymore about all the laws meant to keep minors safe (but which were really just hindering me from doing what I wanted to do). Now that I’m actually 18, I can do some things I’ve been waiting a while to try. I can pursue stuff I’ve waited on for years. I don’t expect things to go shooting off the ground or anything (I’m a pessimist, can’t you tell?), but I am hoping to do more exploring and figure out what I’m doing with my life.

January 25, 2023January 24, 2023

I Got a Job

I graduated summer of 2022. That winter, my family decided to stop traveling in our RV (indefinitely) and move into a house in the city. Being the ideal (and possibly only) time to get a job, I decided to go for it. I ended up landing a job at Pizza Hut.

What I expected to get: a full-time job as a cook or something else in the background—preferably with an organized team and manager. $12/hr was my minimum starting point.

What I actually got: a part time position as a customer service representative. I’m working with very chaotic and disorganized people. A lot of them act not-so-professionally, and there’s a lot of swearing and some sexual innuendo stuff going on. I’m getting paid the absolute minimum legally allowed: $11/hr. My job consists of answering phones, placing orders, and manning the front desk—all customer service stuff. The only cooking I’m doing is wing orders.

Applying for the Job

Pizza Hut’s website allows you to apply to certain positions at certain locations. I chose the location less than two miles away from our home and selected a specific role: cook. (I needed to be able to walk to work if necessary. So far, I’ve only done that once.)

The website gives almost zero information. There was nothing on the pay or hours except that the position was “full-time,” and the website said I’d get more information at my interview. A few days later, I got a text from the area manager. She told me they could interview me, and she set up a time and place to meet.

Interview

I went into my interview ten minutes early. Ten minutes passed, and my interviewer (who I work with, by the way) was still not there. Another ten minutes. Still nothing. Another ten minutes, and my parents suggested I reschedule the interview to another day. Finally (at over 30 minutes late to my scheduled interview), the guy got in. At that point, I knew the job was super casual, and I’d pretty much lost all respect for said guy. (I mean, who comes in 30 minutes late to an interview?!) The guy called me to the back and proceeded to scroll through his phone a bit before telling me a bit about the job and asking me two questions. One of them was if I’d had a job before. The other was about…actually, let me give you the full experience.

Guy: What’s one good thing about you?

Me: I’m organized.

Guy: I’m not.

*nervous laughing*

Guy: All right, what’s one thing you don’t like about yourself?

Me: I have mild social anxiety.

Guy: *nods and proceeds to hire me*

Oh, and for clearer context, he’d just told me the position was a CSR one, which meant I’d be working with people. At that point, I didn’t care; Mr. Guy had set himself up for failure. He’d come in late to the interview, and on top of that, the job turned out to be nothing like what I’d signed up for…unless you count the fact that it’s at Pizza Hut. I was really questioning whether or not I really wanted the job. When he asked what one bad thing about me was, I purposely said social anxiety, because it contradicted the role, and it was more likely he wouldn’t hire me. But apparently, they’ll hire anybody. As long as you breathe, have a pulse, and can learn and work, you’re good to go. So he showed me the forms I’d be signing (all electronically) and left me to sign them.

At that point, the “rush” (when people start ordering all at one time because it’s a meal time) had started. Because the guy had come in late to the interview, he was busy making pizzas while I asked him questions and signed forms. I did a lot of standing around—partly because I was too nervous to interrupt, and partly because the guy kept forgetting I was there and chatted with his coworkers when he wasn’t busy.

Finally, about three hours later, I’d signed anything and had no idea what was supposed to happen next. My interviewer was still busy but managed to tell me that I could go; I was hired. I then asked about dress code and a few other things. Then, I left. (I was given almost no information. I came into the interview knowing pretty much nothing, had to press my interviewer for information, and left knowing almost nothing, since there was too much to ask about, and I was just in the way. At this point, I was really considering whether I actually wanted the job or not.)

First Day of Work

I didn’t hear anything for the first week. I’d been told I’d get an email with more information within the next couple of days. However, after many days of dead silence, I contacted the area manager and asked her about the position. (They’d really hired me, right?) She never responded to my text. A few days later, I received a call from the guy who’d interviewed me. He asked me to come in a certain day and told me my training would begin then.

For training, I watched a bunch of cringy videos (think little kid shows that try way too hard to get the viewer involved) on how to be a decent human being. The voiceovers were terrible, the acting was bad, and the videos were horrific. I don’t think I’ve ever cringed so hard in my life. It’s like Dora the Explorer, where she’s constantly asking “what do you think we should do?” and saying “let’s look at the map!” in a fake, overly-excited voice. Anyway…

My first day of work was New Year’s Eve. I came in to work thinking I was going to do more training. Instead, I was tossed straight into the mix. New Year’s Eve was super busy. I was put on phones and phones only, and they were ringing almost constantly for a couple of hours, so I had plenty of opportunity to get adjusted to the job. When things started to slow down, I found myself standing around a bit, and since I didn’t know how to do anything else and didn’t want to get in the way, I let it stay that way. When my scheduled time ended, I left the restaurant and went home.

More Training

The second time I went in for work, I learned how to cash customers out at the front desk and make sure they get everything on their orders. I also learned how to make wings, which isn’t part of the CSR role, but it’s nice to be able to help out wherever possible, since the Centerton location doesn’t schedule enough people. (They want to make as much money as possible while paying for the least amount of labor possible.)

I figured out pretty quickly that my training was going to be minimal. Instead of doing the shoulder-to-shoulder work on the lists in my training program, I was taught only as needed (whenever things happened). There was very little training and a lot of, “Here you go. Do this, and if you need help, call for someone.” A lot of times, there was no one around to coach me through things, so I was constantly asking for help with stuff I was already supposed to know. As a result, I ended up taking my training into my own hands.

If I wanted to learn how to do something, I asked about it. If a customer had a situation I didn’t know how to handle, I handed it off to a manager and made sure I got the details of how things played out and why. (I prefer to know everything than remain ignorant and have to ask for help when the situation happens again.) Some managers were more than willing to help. Others weren’t so enthusiastic about my many questions. And I get it; it’s annoying when a new person comes in and is constantly asking you to explain things to them. Thus, I ended up singling out the more friendly people for advice. After a week or two, I began to get into the gist of everything. Things started to come naturally to me, and soon, I knew how to do more things than the other CSR’s and delivery drivers (who can answer phones, do dishes and prep, and deliver food to customers).

Customers

I hit it off immediately with the customers. The rules are pretty simple: smile, give people their (correct) orders, fix any mistakes promptly with an apology, and show that you care. People seem to appreciate the way that I treat them. A few even comment on my “good attitude,” and regular customers sometimes stop to chat with me for a bit (although I have to admit I don’t remember most of them). In such a fast-paced environment, there’s no time for social anxiety to set in. Thus, I grew accustomed to interacting with strangers almost immediately. I even found myself enjoying the job.

Coworkers

I still don’t know all my coworkers, and I’m not sure all of them know me. When I first entered the job, I was pretty reserved and shied away from talking to anyone. However, one night of chaos and laughter was enough to change my mind. New Year’s Eve was crazy. Besides the many customers, someone had brought in party stuff (decorations, accessories, and candy). A few people were hard at work running the store. Meanwhile, the rest were lounging around whenever possible, joking with each other, and blowing party horns in each other’s faces. Seeing how free everyone was with each other made me let down my guard a bit, and I decided to take on socializing with an open approach.

I didn’t try to talk to anyone. I barely met anyone the first couple of days. However, when people talked to me, I welcomed them (not literally; I’m talking body language and tone of voice here), and I attempted to be extra friendly. This resulted in me making a few acquaintances. We’ll get into that in a little bit.

Work Ethics

The first thing people seem to notice about me is the way that I work. Apparently, in the fast food industry, it’s difficult to get people who work hard, treat customers and coworkers with respect, and do things with a positive, helpful attitude. In my first few days, I got a lot of comments on my “work ethic.” Delivery drivers appreciate that I help out with dishes. (That’s their responsibility in down time.) Managers appreciate that I do my job—and more—without being asked. (They don’t need to constantly check up on me like a babysitter. I know what to do, and if I don’t, I ask for advice or help.)

Of course, I didn’t know how to do everything right away. When I first started out, I was helping a lot more with dishes when things weren’t busy. However, as I learned cut table, WingStreet, make table, and front desk, I moved to doing those instead. One of the managers also recovered the CSR cleaning duty list. (Someone “lost” it, apparently.) Now, every night I’m scheduled, I spend at least an hour cleaning things, including the bathroom, windows, and phones. I’m also in charge of wiping down food areas and making sure the fridge up front is stocked. Heavy trays of soda—combined with mopping—has made sure my shoulders and neck are given a thorough workout.

Managers

I met my favorite manager a few shifts in (along with my favorite coworker, but she recently left). Unlike many of the other managers there, this manager is approachable. He shows he cares about and appreciates his employees, takes action to make sure things run smoothly, and overall just makes my shift—no matter how chaotic—enjoyable. Mostly, he doesn’t act in a condescending manner. He’s very friendly and treats everyone as an equal, and I like the way he coaches through things. (Think charismatic and hands-on, vs commanding.) He’s proactive, realistic, and knows what it takes to get things running smoothly.

Meeting said favorite manager is when I really started to look forward to work. Shifts with him are fun. Any ones without him are either fun or all right. In fact, there was only one time I didn’t like a shift, and that was when I was stuck with two managers who stayed at cut table most of the time, joking about…well, not-so-appropriate things for a professional environment.

Okay, maybe two shifts. There has only been one so far where I felt like crying, however (go-to response for dealing with stress and angry people). It didn’t have to do with the manager. We were swamped, I was the only CSR, and I was filling in for a lot of cook stuff, all while dealing with impatient customers on the phones. We also had a new cook that day (so more mistakes). Oh, and prep hadn’t been done earlier. Overall, it was super stressful, but afterwards, people were back to laughing and joking around.

I’m actually really surprised how much of a difference the manager makes. Sure, having certain coworkers around can make a difference, but the manager seems to set the tone for the most part. Some days, people are less willing to help out (“that’s not my job”). On others, my coworkers are putting in a ton of effort to help where they can—even beyond their actual responsibilities. Then, there’s the matter of how laid-back/upbeat everything’s going to be.

Actually, let me take that back a bit. It takes a majority of the team to make a difference. Starting at the top, if the managers are either ignoring their employees or going around with nothing but criticism, the workplace it bound to have a negative atmosphere. If employees come in with personal issues and are feeling down and showing it, people around them are bound to feed off of that negativity. However, if people come in with smiles and a good attitude, it’s likely that others will catch on, and work can be fun for most—if not all—employees.

Moving Up/Sideways

In the fast food industry, there’s a high turnover rate. People are constantly cycling in and out of there, and at my workplace, it’s difficult to find people who are reliable and consistent. Thus, it’s convenient to have people cross-trained in multiple roles. A couple of weeks after starting, I’d learned how to do pretty much everything except cooking, and I was even told I could become a shift leader. (After two weeks! It’s crazy how quickly you can move up here.) I didn’t become a shift leader, as I currently can’t fulfill the role, but it seems like any dedicated worker can do so.

After a few cooks left, I was asked to cross-train for the position. I agreed, and after one morning of some manager coaching, I knew how to make everything on the menu. So now I can do pretty much everything. It’s helpful on days when there aren’t enough people, and I believe it lifts some of the pressure off of my managers’ shoulders. Oh, and an update: I now work full-time. Well, I have more hours at least. Now that I’m a cook and CSR, I’m able to fill in for more of the schedule.

Plans for My Job

I’m still in the “figuring it out” stage with my job. Right now, there are a ton of reasons to leave, and the only thing keeping me there is the fact that I like it. Plus, there’s a chance I might be able to make a difference. (Side note: I went into the job “knowing I wouldn’t like it.” To my surprise, it’s turned out to be the opposite way around. I owe it mostly to that one manager. Things are changing, and I feel like a partner in crime 😉)

Reasons to stay: I love my job (currently). It’s really fun, and surprisingly, I like the fast-paced environment. I also like that one manager in particular. On days we’re scheduled together, it feels more like hanging out with a friend doing a (sometimes stressful and chaotic) activity, rather than working a job. Same with a few other coworkers. Also, due to said manager, things will be changing. I’m very excited about it. (If you know me, you know I’ll jump on any chance to be the change anywhere. I’ll literally give it all my energy, time, and motivation.)

Reasons to leave: The pay is terrible. I’m doing almost everything a manager does and making minimum wage. Even managers don’t make much. Drivers can earn $30/hour on busy days, while managers are earning like $13/hour doing a lot more. Also, the scheduling isn’t the best. They’re trying to cut down on labor, which results in chaotic shifts, managers getting more hours due to having to stay late, and everyone else feeling left out. The schedule gets posted way too last-minute. Then, things get switched around without notice. One week, I had an earlier version of the schedule and was coming in when I wasn’t supposed to…but we won’t get into that.

If I could sum up my workplace with three adjectives, it would be this: chaotic, uncommunicative, and inefficient. With the right people in higher places, things could be run a lot better. That’s all I’m going to say.

Conclusion

I know this is an entry-level job. I’m not supposed to care about the company, and I’m not supposed to want to change it for the better. However, that’s exactly what’s happening. If I see a chance to make a difference, I’m snatching it up, and needless to say, I’m going to continue to give Pizza Hut my all. So, am I staying? Yes, I am—for now, at least. Do I see this as a career? No, not really. It comes down to the poor pay and unsteady hours. If it were up to me, I’d be working four ten-hour days as a cook then night CSR. I’d also be earning at least $13/hr. However, it’s not up to me, so I don’t think I’ll be staying here too long.

I don’t plan on leaving now. As mentioned before, things are starting to change, I’m excited to be a part of it, and I enjoy the job. I guess there are only two ways I’d leave. One, if my favorite manager quit. (😅 I know I sound dramatic, but without him, I only see things going downhill.) Two, if I make a ton more money freelancing once I turn 18. However, it would probably have to be a combination of these two. I think there are a lot of ways God could use me in my workplace, and I don’t want to cut it off prematurely for money, especially when the Lord has already done some stuff. Onwards and upwards!

January 18, 2023January 19, 2023

Growing Up

For the past few years, I’ve had a nervous excitement about growing up. Freedom, opportunity, and decision all come with becoming an adult, and to most young minds, it’s something to look forward to. For me, it was definitely that. I wanted to be in control of my life. I wanted to know what it was like to make decisions for myself, control my relationships, have a job, do taxes, and pay bills. (I know, maybe I’m weird for those last ones, but I consider myself a pessimistic realist.)

Background

Trigger warning: If hearing about mental issues, depression, suicide, etc. upsets you, you might want to skip this section.

For the prior four or five years, I’d felt trapped in a cycle where I wasn’t able to grow. I woke up, ate, did school, and went to bed. On weekends, we’d do something outside like hiking or seeing someone we knew, and then the cycle repeated itself. I went through the week waiting for the weekends, then spent the fleeting weekends worrying about the week days. (I never enjoyed school. In fact, you could probably say I dreaded it. The days got even more tedious when I was put in charge of helping my youngest brother with his homework.) I was finding joy in temporary, worldly things. My joy was not in the Lord.

From the outside, I had the perfect life. I had two loving parents, traveled the country in an RV, got to visit all kinds of places, got to see relatives and friends in different parts of the US, and was homeschooled (ultimate flexibility). For many people, my life was their dream. And to be fair, there were points where I was genuinely, 100 percent happy. Sadly, however, that was rarely the case. From the outside, I seemed poised and put together. Inside, it was chaos.

It started off small—the “I don’t likes” of my new lifestyle. I felt plucked out of my prior, “stable” house life. I never knew when we’d move or where we’d end up next, and I hated not knowing where we were going until we were either driving to the place or already there. I missed the church we’d been at prior—even though I hadn’t really had any connections there. In fact, my first (and only, at the time) deeper relationships as a Christian pulled away right before we left for the road. That really devastated me.

However, it gets a lot deeper. I was a new believer, and I was struggling with my faith. Add on the conflicts of being the firstborn and a new teen (wanting more independence) and all the ridiculousness that comes along with that, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. My relationship with the Lord was not solid. At that point, I didn’t even know what being a Christian was supposed to look like. I was more on the side of “religious” than “relational.” I was so confused, as well as battling some personal issues, and I just wanted a loving, emotionally-available person to help guide me and talk through things with me without judgement. *facepalm* If only I’d been able to give that role to Jesus. But I guess that’s why I went through more than four years of the same trial. *heavy sigh* Eventually, I learned, but in took bringing me to rock bottom for me to finally relinquish control. I felt trapped, alone, and lost. Mostly just alone.

I’d say this was the lowest point in my life. I was crying myself to sleep almost every night, taking out my frustration and emotions in ways that weren’t healthy or beneficial to the rest of my family, and distracting myself from my problems with books and food. I wasn’t leaning on God. Sure, I prayed and cried out to Him, but I was mainly doing everything else listed above. I’m actually really surprised how important food became to me during that time. It consumed my thoughts to the point that I was fasting to try to get rid of my addiction/idolatry of it, but in the end, I was treating a symptom, not the root.

There was a lot I was holding onto that I needed to let go of. I had so many bottled-up emotions and bitterness inside of me, and I had to learn to forgive…and forgive…and forgive. It was exhausting. It hurt. I was going through the transition of thinking adults know it all and I should follow blindly to realizing that I should actually think for myself; the Lord gave me my own mind and wants to have a personal relationship with me. He wants to know me, not some emotionless robot version of myself. There’s definitely a balance between taking the wisdom of older people and thinking for yourself, and it took me forever to find it.

I learned by trial and error. When I say it hurt, it hurt. My heart got broken multiple times. I was betrayed in my most vulnerable moments, and after years of irrationally expecting humans to react perfectly to my problems, I started to realize I couldn’t put my faith in humanity. (Lol this sounds depressing, but please try to get my point.) It took the Lord breaking me—many, many times—to bring me to realize that my trust needs to ultimately be in Him. People are going to fail me. Everyone is flawed. I need to use judgement in my relationships—no matter how close I am to the person—because the Lord is the only one I’ll ever be able to open up to fully and unabashedly. I need to take responsibility in every relationship. That includes guarding my mouth and heart and using discernment to know how to approach situation—not expecting the other person to act perfectly just because they’re “older” or “more experienced.”

It felt like the trial lasted forever, and honestly, it never really just ended. There were ups and downs and many plateaus. At times, things got so tough, I probably wouldn’t be alive if the Lord hadn’t protected me. I was so tempted to just throw in the towel and be done with everything. I think the one thing that kept me going was knowing that it would be dishonoring to the Lord if I did so. I couldn’t feel the Lord’s presence half the time, but I knew He was with me. Giving up would have been giving in to the devil’s lies.

Things got really intense over the course of maybe two years. I had a lot of false ideals and thoughts that I needed to stop fighting for, and once I started to surrender them to the Lord, things got way easier. About two years ago, my relationship with God really deepened. He became so much closer to me. Although I still struggled with things, my faith in Him became so much stronger, and He was able to use everything I was going through to draw me nearer to Himself. I began to see His hand in everything. Knowing He had me in the palm of His hand, even as waves thundered down upon me—being able to let go amidst it all and know He’s in complete control—was so relieving. Finally, about half a year ago, the Lord removed the trial.

*moment of silence for the Lord’s goodness*

Those years were so difficult. My faith and beliefs were tested in ways that almost killed me, but the Lord was steadfastly faithful. Even if I could rewind time, I wouldn’t change a thing. Because of that period of my life, I know the Lord’s love, mercy, and faithfulness in a way I never would have without going through what I did. He increased so much more in my life, and I decreased.

My Old View of Growing Up

Wow! That got really deep and personal 😅 I did not ever plan to write about that on my blog. It kind of just came out, and now I guess I’ll just leave it out there as a testimony to the Lord’s goodness.

Trigger warning safe spot (Nothing triggering here; welcome back!)

Anyway, now that we’re done with that whole story (which I hope can encourage you if you’re going through something similar), let’s connect it to how it affected my idea of growing up.

To start off, I wanted to grow up in order to escape that particular trial. I wanted control. I didn’t want to have to be in the vulnerable position I was in any longer. For me, growing up meant freedom. Freedom to find my identity in Christ—on my own (going back to the realizing I can think for myself thing). Freedom to manage my own relationships. Freedom to serve Christ in the way I felt He was calling me to.

As a realistic—and pessimistic—person, I knew growing up wouldn’t be easy. And it’s not. It’s not easy at all. Trying to figure out what you want to do with your life in the span of a few years—careers, jobs, families—is stressful. All of a sudden, there are a hundred different pressures on you that weren’t there before, and you have over a thousand options to choose from. It doesn’t make it any easier that basic necessities like housing and transportation cost a ton and are complicated attain.

(Note my use of past tense. You’ll understand why soon.)

For me, I knew where I wanted to be in five years. I had a basic idea of how I wanted to live, as well as several interests that I wanted to pursue. I had a goal, and I wanted to make sure I got there.

However, things weren’t going according to plan (my plan, to be exact). Circumstances dictated that I wouldn’t be able to do what I wanted to do, and because I wasn’t ready to let my plans drop, I was constantly worrying about my life. It may sound silly to some of you, but I was stressing about my possible future failures of measuring up to my goals, as if they were already happening. (One example of this is how I want to be a mom. I took where I was at, looked at my circumstances, and got depressed because things weren’t heading toward my goal.) As someone who is always pushing herself to do better, reach the next milestone, and keep climbing, I was putting a ton of pressure on myself to do things I wasn’t able to do in the moment. Of course, that didn’t help anything. It was all a very stressful, confusing ordeal.

The World

Growing up seems like something that most—if not all—young adults struggle with. It’s rare that I meet someone my age who isn’t worried about their life. In fact, I’ve even met adults in their late 20’s and early 30’s who are stressing about where they’re at. As time went on, and I saw just how many people were in the same boat as me, I started to realize something else—or rather, a question popped into my head.

How much of my fears and anxieties were from the Lord? How much of it was actually helping me to get anywhere? The answer to these questions were, one, none of it was from the Lord, and two, my worrying was getting me nowhere. Instead, all I was doing was hindering my walk with the Lord. I made things a lot more difficult than they had to be, and I caused myself to be hopeless and joyless, because of my despondent viewpoint.

God is in Control

“Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (Matthew 6:31–33)

Every human being on planet earth worries. It’s in our nature to do so. However, in this verse, Jesus says it’s what the Gentiles (“world,” when put into context) does. The world is anxious about every day. The world seeks money and food first above God.

In these verses, Jesus is basically saying to be unlike the world. Stop worrying about the future, and trust that He will provide for you. Now, of course that doesn’t mean sit at home and eat chips and watch TV all day. For me, this means that I need to seek to do the Lord’s will above all else, and He will provide everything I need.

He doesn’t promise it will be easy. He doesn’t promise I’ll have the time of my life trusting Him. We live in a fallen world, and as such, nothing will be perfect. It may very well be difficult and painful. However, my Lord died for me. I love Him above all else, and I will gladly do whatever He asks of me. Plus, He’s my heavenly Father. He knows exactly what I need. He knows what’s best for me. Time and time again, He’s shown His perfect love and understanding in the way my circumstances work out, and I’ll never be able to fully comprehend His amazing goodness. (Did that sound like a fried chicken ad or something? )

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

Perspective

So how do I live this out?

First of all, I need to be content. *sigh* Contentment is so difficult— especially when I have a list in my head of everything I want my life to be. I want to be a wife and mom. I want to live independently for a year or two. Right now, it doesn’t look like either of those things will be happening. However, circumstances can (and most likely will) change. As an author, I know how fun it is to throw plot twists at my characters. How much more will God, the ultimate author and writer of all our stories, but also a loving father who cares deeply for His children, do the same? I don’t think I’ve gone more than five years without something in my life drastically changing. It doesn’t mean I depend on the change. It’s just that I know anything could happen, and until then, I’m content waiting on the Lord’s timing.

I think contentment means surrendering to God’s will—putting Him first above my wants and desires. His timing and plan is perfect. I need to trust in full faith that He has me where He wants me at the moment. When he wants me to move on, He’ll show me the way. Remember how I said trusting Him to provide doesn’t mean sitting at home and eating chips all day? (I mean, unless that’s truly what you think the Lord wants you to do. In that case, go all in XD) For me, trusting Him means seeking Him out and following where I think He’s trying to lead me.

“And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” (Hebrews 11:6)

God stresses faith so much. Without faith (as stated above), it’s impossible to please Him. We were created to live for His glory, and thus, He shows His children how He wants them to live. Now, this doesn’t mean He has one set of rules and wants everyone to live cookie cutter lives. No, in fact, He has created so many diverse stories, and each person is unique, so that what one person does in full faith, another may not be able in faith at all.

For me, following in faith means being content with where I’m at now, and if He opens doors or opportunities for me, I’ll follow. If something unexpected comes up, I’ll take it as His way of telling me, “Here, I want you to do this.” Until He shuts those doors, I’ll keep going down those new paths and trusting that that’s where He wants me. He also works through my desires, and it’s kind of the same thing as the doors. I’ll pursue things, and if they work out, then great! I’ll take it as a yes. (Things like applying for jobs, for example. I’m didn’t wait for Pizza Hut to find and approach me with a job offer. I wanted to get a job. Thus, I applied and ended up getting it.) If things consistently don’t work out, I’ll take it as a no.

Conclusion

Learning contentment and trusting that God will lead me where He wants me to go has made life a lot easier. Instead of being anxious and depressed all the time, I’m able to trust that He’s working everything out. (Not saying I don’t worry; I definitely still do a bunch of that.) Ultimately, He’s in control. Even more amazingly, every time I give him more of my trust, He rewards it—whether that be in the small things in my daily life, or in the overarching story of everything.

The Lord is good, and the Lord is faithful. Things may not look perfect in the moment, but sometimes I just need to hang in there and wait for His timing.

January 4, 2023January 1, 2023

New Year’s Resolutions

I’ve never done New Year’s resolutions, since I’ve never really seen the value in them and am always striving to become a better version of myself anyway (more Christ-like). Plus, they seem kind of cliché. However, for the sake of a blog post and recording my subconscious goals on paper…ah, the screen…we are doing this. And then at the end of the year, we’ll do a review of how well I met these goals.

Grow Closer to God

The obvious goal and the entire goal of my life. Since I want to be able to measure up to this in 365 days, I’m going to put this into a more tangible form. I want to be reaching for God in any and all circumstances. I want to be praising him, pleading for His help, and everything else in between, no matter what’s going on. Knowing Him more (reading His word) will definitely help, as well as just making it a habit to be praying all the time. I’ve already found this increasing in my life because of the new friends I have now. However, I want to see this become permanent and something I do no matter if I have the same encouragement or not.

Work on Relationships

With more privilege comes greater responsibility. Recently, the Lord has blessed me with several new friendships. One of them bloomed super quickly and just took off into the sky like the fireworks in the picture above. The others sprouted more steadily. There’s a lot of potential, and I’m both excited and scared to see where they go.

This year, I want to focus on being a good friend, nurturing the relationships the Lord has blessed me with, and being an encouraging person who causes others glorify the Lord and builds up her friends through profitable speech. I’m not sure how I will measure this at the end of the year. However, I do know the things I want to do more: listen, learn, and love.

For listening, I want to hear what people have to say. Whether that be joyful news, prayer requests, or just a rant, I want to give whoever it is my full attention and just show that I care. (And if I say I’ll pray for them, I really mean it. I pray right then and there and then some afterwards.)

For learning, everyone’s got some wisdom or experiences I can learn from. I love hearing stories from older (or even younger) people and knowing their thoughts and opinions on what happened. Seeing things through other people’s perspectives is so refreshing. I want to take whatever I can learn from these people, follow their examples of Christ-like behavior, and just let the Lord speak through them.

For loving, I want to be more…loving. Each person is different. Every person has their weaknesses and strengths. Learning to love them through their flaws and preferences can be difficult, and I want to get better at letting my own selfishness go in order to serve other people. 1 Corinthians talks about what love is, and it’s a whole lot of things I am naturally not. As a Christian, I want to become more like Jesus and let His light shine through me, but I know this is going to be a difficult one—especially with people I don’t get along well with.

Step up My Social Game

I don’t do the best in social situations. I hate small talk, and my first instinct upon meeting anyone (especially a guy) is to push them away and make them not like me. This is obviously not a good place to be in. I find myself regretting the way I react in the moment when I actually have time to think—especially if the person was going out of their way to be friendly and nice to me, because I really do appreciate it.

Anyway, since I got a job as a CSR (customer service representative) at Pizza Hut, I’m definitely going to be put in many social situations. Everything is pretty casual. During the rush (which is when I’ll be scheduled), there will be many customers to interact with, both in person and on the phones. Outside of the rush, everything is pretty laid back. Some of my coworkers are really friendly, and I hope to get to know them better and maybe even make some acquaintances.

Write and Blog Consistently

Here’s a super measurable one. I want to write consistently. Whether that be in one of my WIP’s, a blog post, a journal, or an essay-like email, as long as it requires a generous measure of brain power and thought, it counts. To be extra strict on myself though, I’m going to say writing at least one word in any of my WIP’s every day. I know this will be a tough one when I’m going through the editing process.

As for the second part of this goal—blog consistently—I’ll be producing a new post every Wednesday. Currently, I have ideas planned out into May, so I’ll need to do some brainstorming before the year is over. If you guys want to see anything in particular, go ahead and write it in the comments!

Oh, and I almost forgot—my newsletter! Since adding in all the new sections and exclusive stuff you don’t see on IG or my blog, I have to put in a substantial amount of extra energy into each email. And since I send out one every week…well, hopefully I can keep up with delivering quality content to your inboxes.

Finish Filling Out My Super Secret Journal

I’m kidding. It’s not super secret, and I don’t even know if I can call it a journal. It’s a Google Docs with parchment/old paper images over each page and fancy fonts for the headings and text. The topic of the journal: my in-depth thoughts on marriage, children, relationships, and the like. It’s mostly so I can write out my opinions and thoughts and inspect them in light of Scripture. I know some girls write letters to their future husbands. I don’t do that, but I have a friend who does. I joked to her that while she’s creating something cute and adorable that she can share with her future husband, I’m making something I can dump on him before marriage to be like, “Are you sure you really want to commit to this?” 😂 Of course, assuming I actually get married. Right now, it’s just a way to self-reflect.

Publish TJB

For explanation, TJB is the abbreviation for my historical fiction WIP, The Jewish Baby. Currently, it’s in the stage of developmental editing, and I hope to get back to it after I finish writing the rough draft of my NaNo WIP. Publishing will be a huge process. Especially since I’m doing everything myself. Finishing up the novel is just the first step. Then, comes marketing. (Ah, the life of an indie author.)

Also, for those of you who don’t know, I have four WIP’s. Three are part of a fantasy/sci-fi/dystopian trilogy. The other one is a standalone historical fiction novel set in WWII. Click on the images below to learn more about the trilogy. (Each is a separate blog post covering the topic indicated on the picture.)

Start Freelancing

On February 6th, I turn 18. That means I can start working as a freelancer and easily sign the contracts that most freelancers use in order to avoid getting scammed like I may have just been. (We’ll save that for another blog post when I figure things out.) I’ve never tried freelancing, so I’m excited to get into it and start working from my computer. If things go well, it will turn into a full-time job. If things go only kind of well, it will be a source of side income. If nothing goes well at all, I’ll try to forget about it. However, freelancing has been a dream of mine for some time now, and I’m hoping it can turn into an alternative for things like working at fast food restaurants. (I’m mainly at Pizza Hut for the experience, but we’ll get into that in a few weeks.) Being able to earn money doing what I love—like writing, research, tech stuff, and design—sounds like a dream, and I’m hoping it doesn’t turn out to be just that.

Keep a More Positive Mindset

I am a natural pessimist and overthinker who is good at making anything sound depressing and hurting her own feelings. I’m also someone who is always pushing to reach the next milestone, attain the next goal, and keep climbing. I have a difficult time seeing the small things and just living in the moment. This year, I want to be more mindful of my thoughts (taking all thoughts captive) and work on just trusting the Lord’s plan. Let’s get a little deep here.

A few months back, I was having a hard time because I couldn’t see where my life was headed. I was extrapolating where I am now into like, five years in the future and getting sad about it. (Ridiculous, I know.) Also feeling like life was a monotonous cycle that would never change. I’m not talking about my writing here. More just my life and if I’d have a family, be independent, etc. It was truly absurd—something most young adults worry about, but it’s a worldly care. I should be trusting God with my future, not falling into hopelessness.

Now I’ve come to a mindset where I’m content waiting on the Lord. I continue the cycle day in and day out. I try to serve the Lord in the small things, like helping my family. If He opens doors and opportunities, that’s great; I’ll go there. But trying not to despair and seeing the joy in the small things—God’s love in everything and everyone around me. His timing is perfect. He has everything planned out already. I just need to live in faith and follow His leading. Easier said than done, but that’s where I’m trying to be. Learning contentment, peace, and rest will all be a big part in this, and I’m already experiencing the joyous rest of laying all my burdens on Him.

Conclusion

I guess these are more goals than resolutions. Depending on the amount of time I have and how much of my life my new job takes up, I may or may not complete some of the bigger ones. However, I think the biggest thing is just growing closer to the Lord. If I don’t accomplish much in the world’s sense, it doesn’t matter if I’m in a better place with God. Our relationship matters above all else. Everything I’m going through now is to draw me closer to Him and to help others to do the same, so I don’t really care if I get X amount of books published in X amount of years.

But Granny, I do know you want me to publish The Jewish Baby, so I will try to do that. I will try to make sure you aren’t waiting that much longer for a real copy. There’s lots of rewriting I need to do.

December 21, 2022December 20, 2022

Same Interview, The First Year

After stumbling across famous people doing the same interview every year, I decided to steal some of their questions and do an interview of my own—in written form. Some questions are fun, some thought provoking, and others informational. I thought it would be a good way to self reflect, as we are coming to the end of another year. Ready to dive in?

How old are you?

What advice would you give yourself a year from now?

Keep going. You’ve got this, and even if you don’t, God’s got you.

What advice would you give yourself a year ago?

Trust the Lord. You may be confused and lost and hurt, but He’s working everything out for your good.

What's your biggest regret?

Not understanding as much as I do now when I was younger. I know that’s just the way life works, but things could’ve been a lot easier if I’d known more. (In all honesty, I don’t really have regrets. Mistakes are a part of life. Without them, there isn’t any growth.)

What is the biggest thing you've learned?

Trust in God. He has complete control over anything, and I really don’t need to be worrying all the time (not saying I don’t).

How would you define your style in three words?

Comfy, Black, Unusual

What is the most important thing in your life to you right now?

Serving the Lord.

Okay, I know that’s too basic of an answer, so here’s an alternative one: figuring out where my life is headed. I have many things I want to accomplish. I have many things I want to experience. I’m confused and all over the place, but I know God has already planned out my future. I’m just waiting for Him to make it clear what He wants me to pursue. On a more specific note, however, trying to finish my four WIP’s.

How do you define success, and do you think you've reached it?

People usually define success as fame, money, and power. However, that’s not how I see things. For me, success is having an impact on people’s lives—being able to change someone’s life for the better. I don’t think I’ve reached that point yet, and to be honest, I don’t think I ever can or will. At what point will I think it’s enough? God has called me to a lifetime of glorifying him. I think success is when I reach heaven and he tells me, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

What is one thing you're struggling with?

Relationships. Just…what are relationships supposed to be as a Christian? I know we are to serve, love, and uplift one another, but how does that play out in real life? Currently, all of my relationships (outside of my immediate family) are online. It’s a whole new level of challenging. You can’t do things together, be there physically for each other, have in person, real-time conversations, or any of that stuff you normally do to get to know someone. Plus, everyone is different. Learning to love each person individually is a learning curve and sometimes tricky. There’s also a whole layer of stuff I’m not getting to, but yeah…relationships.

Biggest thing to happen to you this year?

So much has happened this year. However, I’ve got to say getting a phone. The internet has allowed me to grow exponentially in my writing and understanding of the outside world, and I’ve gotten to meet people I never would have otherwise. Getting a phone made everything way easier. It’s been so helpful to me both personally and in relation to my writing journey, and the connections I’ve made I hope will last for many years to come.

Do you feel pressure?

Yes, immense pressure. Mostly coming from myself. I’m really pushing myself to be in a specific place (both life and writing wise) by a certain time. I’ve been working on just laying everything in the Lord’s hand and trusting him with the process. However, as a very self motivated and driven person, I often pressure myself to get things done, taking the fun out of things. Again, this is something I’ve been working on. The Lord has been teaching me a lot about this recently, and I’m grateful for the amount of pressure He has lifted off of me.

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

What's your philosphy?

The Lord is writing the world’s story, and everything and everyone is here for a purpose. Glorify Him in everything, and strive to do what you believe He is calling you to do.

What is a place you want to visit?

I’m not big on traveling (says the person who traveled in an RV for years). I’m actually a homebody, and the max “visiting” I like to do is going for day trips to do something out in nature. Thus, my answer is…a hike nearby?

How are you doing?

😃😫😭😜😟😬 Did that sum it up well enough?
Honestly, I don’t know how I’m doing. Stressed and confused are big ones, but there’s also excitement and joy. Life is a journey, and I’m definitely going through it.

What achievement are you proudest of?

I got an editor for my historical fiction book. That’s one of my proudest achievements, but then there’s also the fact that I did NaNoWriMo.

What is one goal you want to reach by next year?

I want to have a steady source of income by this time next year. I’m about 30% sure it will happen, though. Maybe even that’s a stretch.

Favorite memory from this year?

My time with my friend Maya (whom we visit about once a year). I love her. She’s a great friend 😊